Prayer - By Paul Kite

This blog post in NOT written by me, but a friend. This talk really made me listen and sit up so was grateful to him for sending it to me! I hope you all enjoy!

Luke Chapter 11 Verse 1-13

For those of you who were at Trinity last week you’ll know we’ve just started a sermon series on Christian Disciplines.  Not the type that means you get detention if you don’t hand your homework in on time, but the actions we as Christians perform to transform ourselves. To become more Christlike, to be changed by God’s Grace and His work within us, not by ourselves.

Last week Mike talked about meditation so I just want to cover a little bit about this.  For me, the purpose of meditating is to enable us to hear God’s voice more clearly, and obey His Word.  Meditation is about listening and heeding Christ’s teaching.  God speaks to us, and what pleases God is not a set of religious duties which we rigorously adhere to, it’s when we hear Him and obey.  Meditation opens the door to this way of living.  If you want to know more about meditation then visit the Trinity Website and listen to the Pod cast on Meditation.

Prayer changes lives…

Our Reading today tells us how Jesus taught the disciples about prayer.  They had prayed all their lives yet somehow Jesus’ prayers were different and they asked Him to teach them.

In our reading the prayer is ordered.  First Jesus praised God, and then He made His requests.  Praising God puts us in the right frame of mind to tell Him about our needs.  When I first started to pray my prayers were like a shopping list, rather than a conversation.

But prayer is about having a conversation with God, and the more we do it the better our relationship becomes.  The better our relationship with God, the stronger it is, the better and stronger our other relationships become.  Verse three reads “Give us our food day by day”.  God provides for us daily, we can’t store it up for later use then say thanks a lot, see you later. 

So often our prayers are steeped in cries of distress, suffering or remorse at what’s happened in our lives. There are times when we ask ourselves, "Is God really listening to our prayers?" "Things have turned out so wrong for me – where was God when I was pounding on the door of heaven with my prayers."

In 1997 a tragedy occurred in Thredbo in the Australian alps.  There was a huge landslide that came down on ski huts burying 19 people. A chapel was set up and people prayed. They prayed in their homes and in churches around the world for the rescue of those trapped in the landslide.

But how useful were those prayers? Did they change what happened to any of those who were trapped?  Prayers were offered for a miracle but did it make any difference. Well, one man was rescued. It must have seemed like a miracle that anyone could survive 60 hours in freezing conditions surrounded by concrete, rubble and water. The survivor acknowledged that God must have had a hand in deliverance.

But what about the other 18 people who lost their lives? What about all the prayers that were said for those people?  They still died.  Is it any wonder that people are sceptical about the use of prayer? If so many people were praying for the victims, why didn’t God respond and save them? That question has been asked over and over again throughout history when things turned out differently than they had prayed for. I wish I had an answer that would be clear cut, understandable and simple; an answer that would prove that prayer works. 

God has the answer...We have put our trust, our Faith, in Him.

Perhaps that’s why the disciples asked Jesus to help them.  Maybe they had a problem with prayer and wanted to know a way to ensure their prayers were answered.  Was there something special in the way Jesus prayed?  I doubt it.  Jesus doesn’t teach the disciples any special skills. He doesn’t say “if you fold your hands or hold them palms up toward heaven, or rest them on the particular person you are praying for, or kneel or stand or sit, or use a special style of language, you are more likely to have your prayers answered”. If that were the case then the answer to our prayers would be a human achievement not something that comes from the gracious and loving hand of God.

Prayer is not about having special skills, saying the right words so we can reach God’s ear. When would we ever get it right? We would never be able to say the right things to move God to answer us. Prayer is not humans taking the initiative and trying to reach up to God attempting to speak in his ear. For me the best analogy is one of a small child who wants to tell his dad something really important. What does dad do? He bends down, lovingly puts his arm around the child and lets the child whisper in his ear. In this sense then prayer is not so much us reaching up to God with special words or techniques, but God reaching down to us. 

Jesus never asked if it was God’s will.  His prayers were so positive they often took the form of a command.  In Matthew 9 Jesus commands a lame man to get up and walk.  How often as Christian’s do we pray, hoping and expecting an answer, yet never quite sure what will happen?  Shouldn’t our attitude be one of affirmation?  Should we not have confidence in God?  When Moses prayed he believed his prayers could change things, even God’s mind.  We see this in Exodus 32:14 and Jonah 3:10.  In both passages God relented.

Our salvation does not depend on the good things we do to impress God so he will let us into heaven. God comes to us in the form of his Son Jesus Christ, who gave us salvation through His death on the cross. So it is with prayer - no special techniques have to be applied to achieve success. Half the time we don’t know what to pray and when we do we pray selfishly, without faith or conviction. We don’t even know where to find God.

It is God who finds us. By the power of the Holy Spirit the good news about Jesus Christ hits home. Jesus comes into our lives through the Word of God and baptism, and makes himself known to us. God, the Father becomes our heavenly Father. Praying is being in the presence of God, who bends down and like the father makes his ear available. Even though the whispers of the child in his father’s ear might be soft and stammering the father hears the words of his child as the most precious things he has ever heard. He hears the incomplete sentences and funny words with the love of a father. He hears the soft requests with love when the child is hurting. In the same way, God hears our prayers.

Prayer is a gift. It’s only possible because of who God is and his love for us. The more helpless we feel, the more we learn this to be true. Prayer is for those who no longer rely on themselves, but want to be helped by God.  A prayerful life changes us inwardly.  William Carey once said “Prayer – secret, fervent, believing prayer – lies at the root of all personal godliness”.  To pray is to change.  It’s the central avenue God uses to transform us and if we are unwilling to change then we risk abandoning prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our lives. 

But why is it that we find it so hard to pray? Why do we neglect this rich source of strength and power for our daily lives? I probably don’t need to tell you the reasons why because we are all guilty of failing to pray at times. I guess at the bottom of it all is that it takes effort to pray.

It takes effort to make time available every day to pray.
It takes effort to be quiet and still for just a short while.
It takes effort to stop during a busy day and to spend time talking with God.
It takes effort at the end of a long day to stay awake long enough to pray.

We readily and easily pray when there is a pressing need, when sickness or despair strike, but most of the time prayer is seen as a burden, an effort, though it takes far less effort than taking the wheelie bin out to the curb.

We may even doubt the value of prayer; we may lack the confidence that it really does anything. In fact, if we truly believed in the power of prayer we wouldn’t have any problems spending time in prayer. Prayer requires practice and perseverance if it is to become a gift from God that is well used.  Yet we don’t need to use prosaic language when we pray.  I was once told “Pray as you can, not as you can’t”.

Prayer is a gift from our God.  It’s not a demanding gift. Sometimes we need the Spirit's discipline to drag us into the presence of God, but once there, it is not hard. Not many words are needed to respond to God's coming. The prayer Jesus teaches his disciples is very brief. Prayer does not demand a lot of wearisome words. In fact, a lot of words can be off-putting. Sometimes it is better to relax in God’s presence with very few words. Jesus says, "When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again.  Don’t be like them, because your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask Him" (Matthew 6:7,8). Jesus models a prayer that is brief and yet contains everything that is important.

I think there is a danger that we can rattle off the Lord’s Prayer without giving a thought about what we’re saying. When we do it’s no longer a prayer, just a bunch of words that we have learnt off by heart.  When you pray the Lord’s Prayer, try breaking it down into individual verses and considering their meaning.  What blessings have you received today?  Have you forgiven those who did you wrong?  And what temptations do you need to overcome?

A young woman started a new job at a textile mill, and was placed next to a sign which said, "When your thread becomes tangled, call the supervisor". Well, her thread became duly tangled and she thought, "I’ll just straighten this out myself." She tried, but the situation only got worse.

Finally, she called the supervisor. "I did the best I could," she said. "No you didn’t", was the reply. "To do the best, you should have called me."

The first and often most difficult step is setting time aside daily to speak with God.  But you need to make the time, perhaps by setting your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier, or going to bed 15 minutes earlier, or even better doing both. What about during your lunch break.  How often do we sit aimlessly after eating lunch, watching the clock tick away the minutes until we go back to our duties?  A source very close to me assures me that when you’re having a bad day that 5 minute prayer during lunch can transform your afternoon.  Thing is, God will hear your prayer whenever. He will answer your prayer. Even if the answer is not what we expected, be assured He will always have our best interests in mind, just like any other loving parent.  I speak from experience.

God is waiting to hear from us. He’s our loving Father, waiting with outstretched arms for His children to call to Him, to be embraced by His love.  That call, that embrace, is capable of transforming our character, of purifying our innermost thoughts and feelings and ultimately saving us through Grace.

The People in my life: Part 3 - Mum and Dad

OK, so this is the third part of my posts on people in my life. I was thinking that I seem to be putting them in priority, not purposefully.

My Mum and Dad.

I love my Mum and Dad, that probably seems such a redundant thing to say but it is true. I look back on my life a thank God for the gift of my parents and how they have shaped my life.

I was adopted at 14 months old, into the loving parents that are Pauline and Keith. They had adopted my (non-biological) brother 4 years before me. I love that I was adopted, not only for the fact that later on in life after opening my file that I realise how lucky I was to be adopted ( I'll write about my adoption at a later time) but also am reminded that I was chosen, chosen by these parents to put their love and affection into. I do believe sometimes that you don't fully appreciate being born into your family, especially nowadays when you see so many "accidents" ( I really hate that wording, but you all understand what I mean). Anyway, back to my point, I was always told I was chosen to be loved and that has stuck with me.

My Mum is brilliant! She has a very strict way of living, loving her routine and organisation. She always likes to use this gift of organising with others, where it often comes across as rude and interfering, but when you realise why she does it then it is quite endearing. My Mum lost her father ( William's name sake) when she had just turned 14. Her mum did not cope well, and relied on her 14 year old daughter to become head of the house, looking after not only herself but her younger brother. I think that by having to take on that much responsibility at such an early age must have intergrated these traits into her persona.  She met my Dad that same year (just before Granddad died) so I think she held on to him as part of her routine. She went on to have secretarial work within the army, working for different branches, dealing with specific specialised tasks. I personally think that her spending that amount of time in the army intensified her super-organised personality.

As a mum, she was the one to be scared of- the one you did not upset, and if you saw her take her sandal (Scholl ( Wooden bottom shoes)) off - trust me, you ran! But she also put all her energy into us, loving us. One of my favourite memories is laying on her, giving cuddles, after Dad had bathed me, just cuddling into her. I wish I was almost that small to enjoy that feeling. She was always the Mum in the school defending my corner, but was attacking me from the teacher’s point of view when we got home, often with a Scholl to hand.

Dad, well, what can I say about my Dad! Except that he bugs me!! He is the friendliest man I know, he will openly talk to anyone about anything.....always with a coffee in hand or a cigarette hanging out of his mouth!! He comes from a traditionalist family, where all that matters is family, and this is very clear in his attitude, and I hope that this trait is the one thing I can truly take from him. He was my inspiration force behind all of my music, constantly pushing me to be better and achieve. He did that in all the things we did, he took us to cricket, Karate, Cubs and Scouts, Ice Skating, to work with him and would always make sure we helped him in the garden. If you ask me straight off who I spent more time with as a child I would say Mum (Dad was always too busy working or sleeping where he was tired from work), but when you list the things out loud that he did with us, you can clearly see he spent every moment he could with his two boys. He worked hard as a milkman for many years, until the physical strain stopped him. But the sheer fact that he talks to complete strangers, literally anywhere we, go bugs me-no matter how much he is or was good with us! But I suppose embarrasing your children is one of the main roles of a father, and I'm sure I'll make my boys cringe when they're older.

The one thing that I truly love about my parents, that I could never talk about properly, is the fact that although I can say the things above about them, the truth is that I don't really know them! They adopted us when they were in their 40's, and having lived two decades as a couple without children, they've obviously lived a life before Nathan and I came along. And although I know this, it brings no comfort from the random sneak views into their past lives, when they will both come out with information about their life before they adopted us. I am 28 years old with my brother Nathan being 32, neither of us would have ever heard in the 30 years of knowing them that they did these things, for instance, I recently found out that they were international ten pin bowling players! I know it sounds crazy, but we didn't know (I didn't believe them until they showed the photos and badges etc.) until just a few months ago! If there are two people in the world who know how to live, and live a life well, it is my mum and dad.

I am lucky to have been given such a wonderful childhood and an adulthood full of love and support (if anything, they are even better grandparents than they were parents-Will is always on his best behaviour at their house, but is simultaneously spoilt rotten, but I think that's what grandads and nannys are for!). I am the person I am because my life has been shaped by the nurture of these two amazing people. And in the argument between nurture and nature, I can tell you that nurture wins hands down for me.

Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Dad. I couldn't have made it without you.

The People in my life: Part 2 - Candy

Well, this will be the second post on the topic of the people in my life, the last one being about my son, William.

I thought this time I would talk about my wife, Candy.

I met Candy about 11 years ago when we were both at school; after the secondary, the boys and girls schools merged for the sixth form.

I was put back a school year to catch up on a few subjects that I lazily didn’t do as well as I could have. I had also decided to take Biology, as I didn’t perform well for my GCSE science, which I needed to be a teacher.  Candy too took this subject.

On our very first encounter, I saw my friend Vicky, who I knew through my aunt, walking down the path with this blonde girl running back and forth around her, with which all I can describe as an overly happy smile, and with blonde hair flying everywhere. Trying to be cool by standing with my friends, this blonde maniac runs up to me, around me and, with no word of a lie, barking like a small dog.  WHAT A NUTTER!! She later sat next to me, which made my Biology lesson rather frustrating!

Well, during my University years my friend suggested I bring Candy to his birthday party (more through his pleasure of me going with the local crazy girl), and trying to show I was no coward, I agreed to the challenge. I was more shocked than anyone when our friendship blossomed.

Am not going to bore you with the romantic and sloppy stuff, but in 2005 we got in engaged and married in 2007. It truly was a wonderful day.

Candy is a fantastic wife, she is always trying to better herself and although to my annoyance believes that she is a constant failure and must better herself, she really isn’t! She manages to keep the same happy smile on her face that she had when she was 16! Even when times are at their hardest!

She acts as my Carer and looks after me physically for every need. She is the strongest woman I know, which shows when she is picking me up and moving me with such an ease.

Most importantly, she is the mother of my two boys, and what a brilliant mum she is! I have tried being her and all I can say is it is like being a constant children’s television presenter! I just don’t know where she gets the energy from. This is especially seen when she manages to be my wife, carer and house keeper and mother all in one. (I struggle doing more than two of them, without falling into a mess)

She is smart witted and still as crazy and care free as she was so many years ago, and to be honest however much her care free nature can embarrass me slightly, it is not because of her but my own views.

Am very lucky to find myself someone who does everything I could dream of, and do it so well.

The People in my life : Part 1 - William

I thought I would write a few small blog posts about the people in my life, and start with my eldest son, William (William Martin Kitney born in February 2009). I would talk about my youngest son, James, but at this time he is only 4 days old, and although I love him, I don’t know him as well as William.

William is gorgeous, even if i do say so myself! He is currently two years and three months, which for me means fun, fun, fun!

He is quite chatty and for his age has a brilliant vocabulary, even if he is not enunciating all the words clearly-the more you are around him the easier he is to understand. He has a cheeky little smile and a beautiful look in his eyes when he is trying to be cheeky; something I suppose I shouldn't be in support of,but can't help smiling seeing the twinkle in his eye when he's up to mischief.

His overall development is probably average for his age, you could quite arguably say that some things he is way ahead, like his logical way of understanding and doing things, and his amazing imaginative play. But then,  in other areas, he still has trouble singing songs and knowing where his physical boundaries are: i.e. jumping and landing.  So, all in all, he is probably about average for things.

He loves learning; he is quite good at his sign language and using this as part of his regular activities. Reading, he can't actually read, but he loves a good book, and has taken after his father by having a real love for the Gruffolo series, which he will laugh and talk about.

He is really inquisitive though, I like this most about him, and for me this shows his intelligence. I am not the type of parent that wants their children to be more intelligent or more physical, I want my sons to be who they are, but if they show a certain tendency then I will encourage it. Will's tendency is to know everything that he can know for his little mind, this is often shown through is great memory of people, things and events.
If he sees a piggy bank for example, he will look at it, try to get the money out anyway he can and then investigate the money and will then put it back in the piggy bank....at this point he is done and he will move on to the next thing to investigate, but only after he has asked if he can.

I love this, it is tiring and frustrating, mainly because we are always running around after his latest adventure. But the reason I truly love it because I see every moment that he is learning and remembering something new.

This behaviour is often frowned upon; people look at him and think he is being naughty. But I honestly don't think he is, he wasn't being naughty, and he was touching to investigate (Usually with the adults permission). When things matter, really matter, he will sit and listen, he will do what you have asked him. Does it mean we have to talk to him more so he understands....of course it does! But then isn't that our responsibility? Not his fault. We have taught him that there are some things he can touch and that there are things that he is never to touch and he is pretty good at that. He will, I suppose like most children, test his boundaries not only with us but with others every so often, but isn’t that his way of reassuring his own behaviour?

So, when we hear people telling him off for touching or investigating it makes me sad, when people tell us how their child never did these things, and how they sat still, this is fine, for your child if that is how you want them to be. For me, if Will was hurting someone, if he is hurting himself, or about to hurt him and if he is rude and unkind, well then of course discipline him. If he is asking questions and investigating, then I really don't mind.

Will and I didn’t bond well (or as well as I would have liked) when he was born. We still sat and cuddled and played, but I think I was always very aware of my health boundaries and held back a little. Because of this, not only is he a mummy’s boy but a clingy one at that. But recently, I decided to make a real effort with him, having more specific activities with him, talking to him more about what he is doing. This has helped with the birth of James, as Will is now spending more time with me, I think because he knows that Mummy is currently a little preoccupied with James. But for me, it just means I have more time to play and talk. It is still hard, especially with my certain limitations, but I know it is important for us all. We share time in the garden together, where he uses his seaside spade to help me dig, which is always “helpful”, even when it is probably not.

So that is my child and my relationship with him.

He is a beautiful and intelligent child and because of that I love him, and cannot wait to see that boy that he continues to turn into!

My Eternity talk.

Mike quite kindly asked if I would talk for the Eternity service, and he gave me the topic which was pretty cool: "Being a Christian in 2011." So, I thought, why not give it a go!

I thought I would start by talking about what I thought it was about, so I made a list (I love lists), and thought that by writing down the things I do, it might give me a clearer a picture of what a Christian in 2011 was.

No, This didn't help, so I decided to go shopping instead!

I went to Hempstead valley to get a new phone. I have a Nokia.....whatever the number is, (I can't keep track). I have it on contract and although I have a contract for 24 months, I actually have the choice for an upgrade at 18 months, so therefore it being 18 months I thought I would go and investigate.

Now I will be honest, I hate my phone, it always seems to go wrong. Does anyone else just look at there phone and want more from it? How many of you have 02? Did you feel lost without it on Tuesday? That is all I saw on Facebook and Twitter...."Stupid O2". Luckily, I'm not with O2 anymore so it didn't bother me, but my phone still does.

I would love an iPhone! Even more so an iPad. I think they are brilliant. Quite a while back, I was sitting in church when a reading came up, some grabbed the Bibles in front of them, and some got their iPads out and clicked a button, typed a little and then got the verse up on their screen, I was amazed, really amazed, if anything this made me want it more. I might not be the most technical guy in the world but I do like some bits and love a good gadget. When in the past I have spoken to people about God and the Bible, the amount of times I have thought 'why haven't I got my Bible here so I can flick through and find the bit I want?' but as I don't, I tend not to even mention it. But with an iPad I could do that! What else could it do? So, still distracting myself from doing the talk, I sat and thought about the reasons I could get one!! Or the excuses I could use to convince Candy! Not only would the iPad allow me to to have the normal text and phone packages, I could now have these Apps that could help me throughout the week for Bible passages. With the iPhone, I can dial friends in an emergency, which, I was thinking, would be fantastic for me. Especially as even without a signal, you can always make emergency calls. I would need this more than ever.

I could have a better Internet access than I have now on my phone, which means I could go on Facebook more, and even more so I could access my blog, I could blog more, so with Facebook, Twitter and my blog being the main ways that I evangelise, there was only one clear answer. This iPhone or iPad can make my christian life so much easier!! Let alone my non-christian life! I must have one!

So this got me thinking, what other technology helps me have a better relationship with God? Some of you must have used some technology to help you? Is it just the fact that you have Facebook accounts and can build upon the community spirit, muck around and support your friends. I know I enjoy that I use it more for mucking around and joking than anything else. Or is it that, like me again, when trying to prep something for house group, or youth groups, that you sit down and go online, straight to Google and find the web pages with good ideas and crafts on? Or 'Bible gateway' to get the perfect quote?

I love music, so I will tend to go online and either visit Worship Central or have a collection of worship songs in Youtube. It's great, most of the time it will allow you to read the words and sing aloud. But then, just so I don't disturb Candy and Will, and they don't disturb me, I also needed a decent pair of headphones, and when I worked at Bose I thought I would definitely need a pair of noise cancelling headphones. Then that way no one will disturb the other and that way I can have some concentrated worship time. Even if you don't use that much technical stuff at home, I know a few of you "belt out" a good song in the car.

But at which point are we putting these items in front of our relationship with God? We always say that these things are great for helping our relationship with God. I know that I would question how often I would sing, and sing worship songs without the technology that I have mentioned. But is that really true?

The other week at the Easter service we had a small malfunction, where the words disappeared from the screen for three songs, that could have been it. We could have all stopped singing and but we didn't. We continued to lift our voices and carry on, some who knew the songs were fine, and there was even that awkward mumble from the ones that didn't. So where is that strong supported singing now? Why don't I do it? How often do you do it? I was at a friends house the other day and they kept singing a particular line from a song over and over again, not because it was annoying but clearly they had a line from a worship song in their head. Why was my first response 'why are you singing?' Is it because it looks unnatural or strange to us to be singing without music, without the technology around us and screen in front of us? Yet the Bible has books soley for songs and how people were just rejoicing in the witnessed Glory of the Lord, and I am pretty sure that they didn't have the screens or lyrics in front of them. But you get my point, like the song says 'when the music fades, all is stripped away', but we know that-we know not to put the music in front of the Lord, but rather up to Him; shouldn't we be doing that with the technology we have? Even at this Eternity service, we have a smaller screen set up for us to read the words, but realistically, most of you were concentrating on God and the words of meaning and had your eyes closed. So was our selling point of the Eternity service the screen? Did the people who set it up waste 45 minutes on the technology that they could have spent on their relationship with God?

Facebook, however great it is, is not helping us truly step forward to the oncoming years for Evangalism. Lets have a look at the stories in the Bible: every one of key significance was a gathering. When Jesus appeared to the disciples on the beach, where they sat around a fire and ate fish, what would be the relevance of that now? Jesus signed on to Facebook, where he put twelve of his friends under chat and said 'hi guys I am back!'? Or that he created a social event called 'fish supper at the sea'? I know this is just an extreme way of looking at it, but I always found that the beauty of Jesus and the twelve disciples was the fact that they sat and spoke to one another, they had that personal relationship, and it was this relationship that inspired others to follow. I can just imagine the disciples going off to tell the world of their friend, and the love that is in their eyes for that relationship.

I fell over at home the other month (it was horrible): I had gotten up really well and was planning on going into the kitchen to get a drink. But my legs twitched and I buckled over, tried to support myself with my arms, which also twitched and then headbutted the floor. Laying there with my arms trapped underneath me, not being able to move, I saw out of the corner of my eye my phone on the arm of the chair. That will be the point of my rescue. If I lay here long enough I can rest, pray to the Lord for recovery, and he will bring me peace in that time, and then when ready I could try to get my phone and call for help. Like I discussed earlier, phones can just allow you so much access to contact. That was a split moment of thinking, one that I am often known to think in these scenerios. Although the next thing to happen, happened with no contact at all, no technology. My brother randomly walks around to the back door, lets himself in, which from this point of view must have been a very strange thing as he see me laying locked on the floor. He grabs under my arms and by my belt, flings me up in the air to standing, calls me a fat so-and-so and then says 'sorry, I was just down the road working and I needed the loo' at which he runs up stairs to the toilet. He then comes down, shouts bye and off he went back to work. No questioning-no worry. He had that relationship with me that he didn't call first to check that it was ok, he just knew he could let himself into my house and go to the toilet. The more and more I thought about this, the more I realised that not only was God present right there in that moment, but that it wasn't the technology that helped. It was Him. I have been told over and over that Facebook has allowed relationships to regrow by connecting people over distances, but isn't this techno relationship a poor substitute for their actual company? A picture of your sisters newborn the same as holding them for the first time? If i had my phone it would have probably been my brother that I had rung, but the feeling between us wouldn't have been the same-the nature of phones being what they are, it would have been punctuated with small talk, but our relationship is so much deeper than that.

I was very lucky and blessed that day because of the specific relationship I have with my brother. Was that relationship created through us being facebook friends? Or because we shared a bedroon and played together for most of the childhood, we lived, played, ate and laughed together. The same way Jesus did with his disciples and the life that they had with each other.

I was asked by Mike to talk about being a Christian in 2011. I could have stood here and told you that we need to connect with what the popular youth culture is requesting, having our own facebook page, and creating events, I could have said about the blog culture that is happening and how we evangilise. But honestly, is that it? is that the acts of being a Christian in 2011, using the technology to talk about God, using technology to build a relationship with Him, helping us find a new way to relate. Or is it that we are using all these things, and they are just another form of idolitry? Another allowance and excuse to not sit and talk to your friends. "Oh I must have the ipad 21 because this allows me to directly speak to God!" If anything, my Christian form of evangilsm with technology like blogging (and before it is pointed out, I realise the irony that me posting this has on the whole talk, but sadly I think this is the only way a lot of people who didn't go to the service would know) has probably alienated me with my non christian friend because they will see the "Godboy" has posted another God post. Why am I not sitting down with them at a BBQ by the beach and showing them that the relationship I have with Jesus is the same as the one I have with my brother, allowing them to see the same love in my eyes.

I am not saying cut the technology out either, I am well aware that this technology is here to aid us. If it means people can read the bible on the move, or connect with long lost relatives from around the world at a cheaper more accessible way. Then great.  I found it amazing on Thursday that I was able to get people praying for Candy and then for our friends to celebrate in teh arrival of our son. But I had to turn my phone off as it is connected to my Facebook account and wouldn't stop going off with people messages, if it my phone didn't have a five minute break I wouldn't have been able to rest. So just consider the time that you are doing with the technology you are using, is it just a quick time or hours of wasted facebook "liking". Use the technology to help you worship, don't worship just because you have the technology too.

It was recently reported on the news that people are getting lost on cross country trecks because they have stopped taking maps with them, and then when Google maps fails on their iPad they are stranded and needing rescuing. So how can we cope with this sole dependancey on technology?

I like to remember that sometimes you are and can be in a place where no worship song, no Christian book, no preacher or not even a close friend or relative can help you. No phone or Internet, no status update or chat. Aren't you glad that there is a 'very present help in time of need?'. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! His presence is the most satisfying thing on earth! One moment with Him can change your life forever!

So a few questions to leave you thinking about: How often do we just stand and sing? or dance because we're happy? How often do you sit with anyone and tell them about God or even just sitting and talking to them. When was the last time you looked into somebodies eyes and saw that spark of Christian love, the love for God? Do you think they see that in you, for them to really see God, through you? I know last week we looked at Colossians and the fact that Jesus was the Visible image of God, and He is! He is the embodied God. But shouldn't we all be meeting people and standing there and allowing them to see the image and likeness of God through us? Isn't that what it is to be a Christian in 2011, trying hard to build the relationships as they did in 11AD by standing and forming these close relationships, possible without technology being involved. The spread of Christianity was immense after Jesus ressurection, and it wasn't because someone facebooked it!

The birth of my second Son!

I am pleased to say that on Thursday the 19th of May 2011 James Keith Kitney was born! He weighed in  at 6.4lbs and was absolutely gorgeous, he was just over two weeks early, but luckily we were all ready for him, and are even happier on his arrival.

So, without Candy going mad at me sharing too much detail, I thought that I will share what happened. It might save me from repeating it a few times!!

I managed to get in quite late Wednesday evening after the 18-30's cell group (Which was great) and was just adding the last few bits to a talk that I had been asked to do. By the time I finally got into bed it was around 1am I was shattered, but alas, like recent evenings, I wasn't ready to go to sleep and was laying awake thinking of a hundred and one different things. I even think I posted on Facebook that I couldn't sleep and was frustrated, which usually somehow manages to knock me out.

The next thing I know, Candy is calling me from the bathroom, after I checked my phone and saw it was 3:45 (am) Candy was shouting that it was time, so after the near event on the previous Sunday I made sure we had 5 regular contractions. RIGHT!! IT IS NOW!!

I phoned the midwife delivery suite and informed them that Candy was in labour, and then called Candy's sister, Carissa, who was planning on being birthing partner. At 4:30am they both turned up. Candy by this point was laying in a nice warm bath, trying her hardest to go with the flow of the contractions. It seemed not to take long for the second Midwife and her Student to turn up and set up, so with three midwives in the room, Candy moved over to the bed. Candy was great, she didn't take a lot of Gas and Air and did nearly all the midwives told her to do. The only thing that she was fighting was the suggestion that she walk around, with the midwives hoping that gravity would assist.

Whilst these things were going on, Candy being under the influence of Gas and Air was hilarious! Well for me she was! I know, she has done an amazing thing but it was funny. Candy shouted " No, its Megmeg (our black fluffy Persian cat) She's in labour! And Poppy (our Ginger Persian cat) is watching!" Now, after, Candy will tell you that she heard the midwives talking about the cats walking in and out and that she was trying to reassure them that it was OK for Poppy and Meg to be in the room, because our cat, Meg, had had a litter of kittens. But for me this was brilliant!

Candy, continued to push and do so well, Carissa was being a great support and holding her hand and reassuring her. After two hours the midwives were getting a little concerned but only because they were worried that Candy was getting tired. One of the midwives put her gloves on just to inspect and POP! James, head and to toe, very quickly came out. We checked the time and at 7:05am he was laying on mummy.

I couldn't fault the midwives they were great, they really supported Candy and made everyone feel at ease. We would say that as long as you're healthy and have a healthy pregnancy that a home birth is a great idea. Candy felt more relaxed and could actually request whatever she wanted around us, rather than keeping with Hospital protocol. She had her own TV, ate what she liked when she wanted and, rather than being something clinical and detatched, the birth became a family event.

William was brilliant, he slept through the night and noise and only woke at half 6, where he was quite happy eating his breakfast and watching TV. When he met James, he gave him a kiss and a cuddle, but was far happier that James had got him a wooden train set to play with. ( I personally don't know how James went to Toys 'R' Us, but good thinking little man ;-) your brother loved it ) He has been beautifully behaved and has even tried his hardest to help Daddy tidy when he can.

The only down side, and this is a fault with me rather than home birth, is that I should have been stricter in allowing family in that evening, hospitals have a strict two to a bed rule and only have a two hour visiting time. Candy and I both found it quite stressful; at one point the following evening there were ten people in our bedroom wanting a cuddle-with James, not me-sad times. I know they are our family and that they love us, but maybe I should have used the rest of the house better. I feel I am now able, a couple of days on, to organise guests better; visitors can have a cuddle and see Candy and James, but they can also sit and have a cup of tea and wait if necessary, and Candy can be alone with James to sleep or feed, or as seems to be the case most of the time, Will, Candy and James having a giggle on my bed while I play gate keeper to the stairs.
Anyway, a few pics for you to enjoy.

Yesterday and the panic!

In words of my mother....What a palaver!

My wife, Candy is 38 weeks pregnant with our second child James.  With our first child I was a very nervous parent, every twinge and ache Candy got I was panicked and would get her to ring her midwife or we would be straight up the local hospital.

I was terrified that something would go wrong and everybody would say it is better to be safe than sorry.

Although looking back at it, Candy was always told that she had a healthy and "textbook" pregnancy and that there wasn't anything to worry about. The labour was quick, (well, as mentioned in a previous post Candy had pains about 18 hours before hand but with pain killers, a hot bath and a sleep she slpet through most of it) Candy woke me up at 5:30 and we were holding William at 8:30am.

This time, we have been reminded how healthy Candy and baby is and again we are always hearing about the fact that it is another "textbook" pregnancy. This has helped us make the decision to have a home birth, there is a number of reason to why we have, but knowing that Candy and baby are healthy we though why not.

Yesterday we had our first false alarm, but it wasn't through worry this time, we have generally shrugged off all the previous stuff "false alarms" and braxton hicks, knowing that when the time comes it will come.

Yesterday morning Candy woke up, she looked drained and pale, and was complaining of a deep ache and cramps throughout, although there was no consitancy with them, but they definately wern't braxton hicks. She felt sick, but hadn't been.

Well, for me I plodded along and went to church. During the service it intensified and Candy ended up being sick. But the thought to be contractions were still irregular, so my mind was in full spin, even to the point that Candy turned to me and said this "could be it" when asking if she was sure the reply was " I don't know I can't fully remember what it was like". She could distingish that it wasn't braxton hicks but couldn't remeber if it was contractions. So my goal was to get William out of the house and entertain him, even if it wasn't labour Candy didn't need the pressure of him running around. With my mum in hospital for surgery I took Will to my bestfriends house, where I think more than anything her and her husband entertained Will and me! I was quite on edge waiting for the phone call that this was definately it, but no, the"contractions" were still coming but no pattern or regularity. So the fact that they were there really helped me.

The decision was made that we call the midwife out to check anyway, it had been 8 hours of feeling like this it was best to check out now. William was left with Kelly and Jon and I went off. By the time I got home, Candy was in bed resting and Candys sister, Carissa was turning up. Midwife arrives and we find out that without a diagnosis (As she can only identify and help with pregnancy and birth) that it is likely that Candy has a stomach bug, but this was definately not labour! If anything it was still braxton hicks. Knowing this, we have come to the conclusion that the normal cramp and pain you get with stomach bugs with teh combination of braxton hicks gave Candy a new "contraction" like feeling.

Candy is now fine, a little sore and slightly sickly but not as bad as yesterday. we saw the midwife for a check up this morning and James is well. All in all this event has made me quite anxious and on edge, the panic has set in. However, what it has shown me is that we have everything around that we need, that we will cope and be successful when the time does come and that we have such loving friends and family who were here for us.

All that is needed now is for James to arrive.