Day 11 It's ok to not be ok.

This is a difficult for me, as I am seemingly have a bad few days. Yesterday was another bad dpd day, so was trying very hard to challenge it and work back at gaining some grounding. The thing that I have realised is that I'm really good at letting people feel comforted and always reminding people that they should seek help and support. Reading these points I realised that I was a hypocrite in places, I never ask for help. If people ask me how I am, I always reply the same...I'm ok, am always ok. Why do I do this? I usually believe this has something to do with my nature of trying to put people first, and making sure others are ok. But it also occurred to me that I don't trust any one enough to pass my problems on to others. I very rarely find people that I'm comfortable to confide in, and when I am, I get shocked and embarrassed that I have made an idiot of myself. So, why can't I challenge this? It's difficult to. But that doesn't make any less of a reason to not do it. So, for someone who believes in honesty at the up most maybe I need to allow this a little more, so today's a new start with it. I am telling myself now and others if they ask, that at the moment I'm not okay. Maybe doing this will a; stop pushing people away, and b; maybe to have some support, as like most situations, my normal support network has other things going on, so feel isolated. But I'm not going to allow this, my honesty might even allow more people in my life.