Getting out of the boat and keeping focus. Part 2

Ok, so we saw that these men were in the boat and in trouble and scared. These were fishermen, men who knew the waters, knew the storms and knew how to survive , these were professionals. But the truth is here that they were scared because they had no hope, the fear that would have been taken by the hope in Jesus. They also relied in the hope and safety of what they knew, the safety of being in the boat.

This moment Jesus show them who he truly is, reminds them of the fact that they have been doubting. Reminding them to look at him and not the storm that's distracting around them.

Jesus walked out towards them, yet the disciples still being hardened to the identity of him, don't recognise him, the shout it in fear! Jesus first response is to say "don't be afraid, it is I". (The don't be afraid line is one of the most common in the bible, mentioned 365 times)

Peter, does the bravest thing and trusts that it is Jesus and says tell me to come. Some would see this as a sign of finally having obedience, i see this more as the thing that is holding Pater back, another back up way out of "well i didn't get out because Jesus didn't tell me to" but once Jesus says come, there is when you see the obedience from Peter.

He then started walking on the water to Jesus. He is actually doing it, but in typical Peter sense he fails again, he is distracted and still scared of what is around him, takes his eyes of Jesus and starts to sink.

Jesus reached in to the water and grabbed Peter, and once they were both on the boat, the storm cleared and they had already arrived onto the other side of the sea. (of which according to the story they had only rowed a mile into) At this point they all cry out saying that Jesus is truly the son of God, they have finally started seeing him. But as we see they still doubted in their hearts. "Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen."

Are we not all like this though? When things are going well we are happy to get on with our lives and say how happy we are as Christians, but when it is stormy in our lives we call straight out to God for help. We harden ourselves to the truth that is Jesus and we often think it is easy to jump out of the boat and focus on God but realistically the things around us distract us, where we take our eyes off of him, where only at this point when we are sinking we shout out to God. We should pray to him and call out to him in praise as well in desperation. We should be looking at Jesus all the time, not just when it is stormy for him to rescue us.

I was planning on ending on Psalms 107:28-31

^"Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble, And He brings them out of their distresses. He calms the storm, So that its waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; So He guides them to their desired haven. Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!"

Getting out of the boat and keeping focus. Part 1

I have been looking over what I have thought were well known Bible stories, as the more I read, meditate and then investigate further I seem to be realising that I don't really know the stories as well as I thought.


This week I decided to go with a friends suggestion of Jesus walking on water.


This story appears in three out of four of the gospels (Doesn't appear in Luke)


I started with the version in Matthew (Ch 14 v22-33)


It starts off with Jesus sending his disciples away in a boat whilst he sent away the crowd. So I looked into the back story. 24 - 48 hours earlier Jesus had just been told of the death of his Cousin, John the Baptist.


(He would have been brought up with this man and been quite close to him, especially when you consider the fact that both of their parents had miraculous pregnancies and it is even noted that Mary spent time with them whilst pregnant with Jesus at Johns birth. )


Jesus decided to retreat to solitude to pray and I would guess to mourn over his friend and relative. But before he got to do that he was approached by the crowd, that we would learn to be the feeding of the 5000 (plus women and children) They had came to crown him as king and I again, would guess to start the uprising against the Romans that the promised Messiah was told to bring. Jesus was still grieving but took his own personal problems to the side and fed the crowd.


So, with that back story we get to the point where the next story begins.


In my version of the Bible (King James (older version)) It says that the Disciples were constrained on to the boat. Constrain was an unusual word for me, so checking it out I found that Constrain is to bind and forcefully move. This would have often been suggested and used by Shepherds hearding sheep. (I found the Shepherd explanation a very interesting one) Clearly these Disciples didn't want to leave Jesus and by the sounds of it probably put up a bit of a fight.
After the Disciples were on the boat, Jesus saw off the crowd that had previously gathered. Again, like a good host seeing off the guests to the party by himself.  But that must have been a task alone, sending off 5000 (+), probably reassuring them on the way telling them about being meek etc; as stated before that they were probably ready for the uprising and revolt, hopefully playing on death of John the Baptist, making Jesus King. ( John 6v 15: Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.)


But a few points came out for me here:


1: Jesus was probably still grieving and still wanting to be isolated. (But instead, realistically, was probably surrounded by 10,000 people)


2: He actually took the time to send the crowd off, he could have quite easily have used his Disciples to help. But again this shows Jesus had time and love for us all and as individuals.


3: The crowd saw the disciples put into the boat and Jesus "alone" on the land. Who would argue with 5,000 (+) witnesses?


OK, so in the next part you see that night fell and Jesus is finally alone and ready to pray.  Jesus had his moment to grieve and pray. Although the storm came and he knew that the disciples were far off and in trouble.


Now, it is this next bit that I find so interesting and actually amazing.


"His wisdom is profound, his power is vast. Who has resisted him and come out unscathed? He moves mountains without their knowing it and overturns them in his anger. He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars. He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea." (Job 9 verse 4 - 8)


This verse was linked in my Bible, I found this really intriguing.


In this verse from Job it shows the powers of God; it also suggests that who resist him. Had the disciples resisted Jesus?


Strange thought, because initially reading that verse from Job I would have suggested that it is talking about the devil, and resisting him, he too is powerful, we see his power and affects of it daily. But i wondered if it truly meant him, could it mean God.


In my King James version the opening verse in the above actually states something slightly different:


"He is wise in heart, and mighty in strength: who hath hardened himself against him, and hath prospered?"


Who hath hardened himself against him, and hath prospered? - To harden oneself, here means to resist or withstand him. It refers to the firmness or resolution which one is obliged to adopt who opposes another. Here it means the opposition which man makes to the law and government of the Most High; and the affirmation is, that no one can make such opposition who will not be ultimately overcome. God is so great, so powerful, and so just, that a successful resistance cannot be made.


So, I ask the question again, Had the disciples resisted Jesus?


Yes, I believe so. And hopefully will show why a bit later.


But what also interested me is that the verses in Job are almost prophetic for this event: We are aware at this time it was night (evening fell when Jesus prayed) and due to the stormy weather you wouldn't have seen the sky - "He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars." We then see the just response to the person whose divinity will prove who he is and how we will be able to identify him -"He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea." (We see later on after Jesus walks on water that the storm ends) this would also link well with Matthew 8v 23-27

OK, so the disciples are resisting Jesus.

Well, consider the position the disciples are in, they have up to this point, according to the gospels, witnessed either independently or as a group 20! miracles (check out a previous blog post of mine to check: http://insidemartynsmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/miracles-of-jesus.html)

They have witnessed him do so much, but a few things that you clearly see is that they are still disobedient. They are right at the beginning of this story, Jesus forces them onto the boat, they didn't listen. This is seen in Mark 6:52 "For they had not understood about the loaves, because their heart was hardened."

They still were unsure of the true person Jesus was. Even in the calming of the storm in Matthew 8v27 " The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” " They still called him just man, even though we see that in Job only one of divinity could control the elements and can tread on water!

Clearly the disciples are on a slippery path, they are resisting the true nature of Jesus and have hardened themselves to the truth.

We see this mentioned in Psalms 73:17-19 "till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny. Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin. How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors! "
So, ending this part of the post, I will leave you with a question.

After seeing all the things the disciples had witnessed, would you have recognised the truth that was Jesus, or would you let society harden your heart?

This is no sob story, this is just my story.

I am always very careful to open up to people, really open up to them. It isn't just because I am a man and have trouble conveying information, because if you truly ask me a question I will always give you a direct honest answer, but who really asks?

I don't share too much because I don't ever want people to see my life as a sob story, because it isn't I do honestly feel that I have achieved so much in my life and that I have lived it well. Several things have been playing on my mind recently and because of that they have got me thinking about my position in life and because of that, I feel that it is time to share.

But why share some of the most personal things in my life and on blogger? I am so ashamed of some of the things I have done in my life or have been involved in that I suppose that some of it is easier on here as I am hiding behind the computer. But I also hate repeating myself so this would be a good way to share with my loved ones who read this. I also want people to realise that it is immensely difficult being a human, but even more that it is difficult being a Christian at the same time because people see you differently, have higher expectations of you, you even end up having higher expectations of yourself and with that I hope that you will be able realise that we are just all human.

I often get people telling me that they admire me and that I am brave. I am not, I take the easy way (often the bad way) out. I know at times that bravery is being scared, digging yourself in and standing through the difficult times. But with age I am changing, turning more away from the person that grew and inspired so many with my "get up and dust myself off behaviour". With that I also get people telling me they think it is fantastic for someone with so many obstacles to still be smiling.

These are obviously wonderful comments, encouraging me to keep going, showing me the respect that others want to offer.

My smile is often a mask, who doesn't have a mask or shield of types? I struggle to put that smile on and seem to be changing more and more.

I went to an all day men's fellowship conference with CVM and Newwine. It was great. But there was one talk discussing about men being like a good strong bull being warn down until they're tired and then speared. Men are strong tough creatures who can often get up and dust themselves off, but will often still walk around with their spear still inserted into their back, because we're tough men. Even at times when we are aware that we need to remove that spear that the wound may still be left open and may be being infected and poisoned by remaining splinters. So, I have prayed that I need my splinters to be removed so I am.


So where do I begin?

I suffer from Depression.

That was probably the best start as my depression brings me down to a massive crash and is interlinked with so much.

I wake up some days and don't want to get out of bed; I hate the concept of even moving, having a million things rush through my mind about things that I would struggle with i.e my health. I try to do things that people suggest, like setting up triggers to make sure I get up. I create a routine to stick by, this helps to not allow too many surprises and also keeps my mind off negative thoughts. Although these things are set up to help me, to help me cope, they are a struggle, they are a real effort because I get into the state of mind that is difficult to do ANYTHING.

So, why I am I depressed? That is an interesting thing that I often think about. I was once told that " I have nothing to be depressed about, I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful kids, a home, I have achieved so much" These things are true. Very true. But there is so much that is in the background, and I suppose that is one thing that I felt I needed to share on here.

I wake up every day with dread. I hate getting dressed or needing help to get dressed. I need help cleaning. I need help in everything. This knocks my pride, knocks it a lot, I am an adult, we get brought up to become independent, to stand on your feet and face the wide world. But being disabled you end up losing that, everything about self learning is thrown out. You get smothered and coddled, you get treated as a child. As an ex-teacher this stands up even more for me, when we would teach children the social and personal care of getting dressed independently by the age of 7. So that as an example fills me with dread.

But, then you have the falling.

I fall, everyday, If I am truly blessed by God at that awful time then I am thankful I don't hit anything on the way down that will cause me more problems. When you're on your own you feel so isolated and vulnerable. It is scary. You never know what your day will be like, but you know it is at least going to happen, so you pray for the best outcome when it does.

But, for me the worst of all is the loneliness that you end up having with it. Strange considering I am married, have a wonderful group of friends, churched or not. But you are alone. I have a strong faith and know that my God is always with me, but at times I need that loving look from a friend or family, the comfort and support. Which isn't always available. You can't work so you do not have the luxury of seeing people in the day, and then the sad truth is that you can not always restrict the movements of your family when you have two small children (as i do). So with that, you are left alone. You try to make up by doing active things beyond normal work hours with friends and community but with health issues you get tired and then it isn't always practical to go out in the evening. Even when you desperately want to. With all of the above knowing, I hope that it is understandable that I don't always want to get out of bed.

When things get out of hand (and it can take the smallest thing, like with most people, usually a misunderstanding, but with depression comes commonly paranoia, so the littlest things are so easily big things) I struggle to cope, I have bible verses to repeat, I have friends who I text, and activities to help me focus. This helps 90% of the time. 10% of the time I self harm. It is not something I am proud of, and very very few people know, because many people don't understand and publicly it is massively frowned upon and misunderstood. Why do I do it? It is a distinct idea of feeling so lost and distanced from the world that it almost alienates the depersonalisation and dissociative state. It hurts, makes you realise you can feel. I cut and "scratch" as the Doctors state. I starve myself and often drink very heavily. Anything to change the scenario that I am currently in. I feel guilty after, every time. Especially when I realise that I am not alone and that God was there with me.

Being brave as I said is standing up when you have fallen and dusting yourself off even when you are scared and don't want to. I use to be good at this: I wanted to prove people wrong when they saw me. I tried to shape and craft my career, home life and family, as well as my education to prove that I am more than capable, more than disabled, if anything I am able.

Knowing how your life will change (medically presented and without divine intervention) scares me more than death itself. I know that seems strange but knowing how my health will change and how it will be progressively worse makes me more scared of living.

I want peace.

It is one of the reasons why I am still an active Christian, because I believe God will bring me that peace. With that peace I pray for rest, no more fighting or arguing, no more having to struggle. I have for the last 16 years done nothing but fight, argue and struggle and although this has been a source of inspiration for others it is getting tiresome for me. This alone is a very heavy burden for me to carry, which on many a times I give it to God, but it (by the means of Satan) is always returned to me. I pray to God everyday to grant me that peace, that rest, if for anything so I can enjoy my Boys before I get too sick to enjoy their company.

So, as I said, this isn't a sob story,this is more of an unmasking.

And for anyone who self harms and comes across this post, just know 1: that you're not a lone. 2: I know, really know, that it is difficult but tell someone, because like the first point, you're not alone.

Giving

I heard a couple of interesting points and a story this weekend about giving and wanted to share it with everyone, especially as it got me thinking.


On Friday evening I was helping set up as much as possible for a craft fair that I organise. My Aunt, who was there helping, and I are started arguing, very poorly over money. My Aunt doesn't work, she suffers from a multitude of aliments, so the craft fairs she does makes her money, especially little bit before Christmas. I decided to not charge two friends for the use of a table, mainly they hadn't done many craft fairs and they had driven a distance to do it. My Aunt saw this as weakness, I saw her argument as greed. So, Saturday comes and my Aunt in other ways demonstrates a greedy side, that I'll be honest I didn't like. She even commented on the way I was "changing the prices of things" as bad business sense....mmmm, I didn't care, I wasn't there to make my millions I was there to share what I had done, through craft and where I can give others enjoyment.

That evening I was bothered by the whole event, I helped organise these craft fairs so we both could earn a bit of extra cash before Christmas, maybe if I had listened to her I would have a little bit extra. I prayed about it.


I was pleased then when I went to Bobbing Church on Sunday to hear Sue say that the days talk was about giving and the ways of giving.
Sue, our Curate, started off with a quote from Mother Teresa "Giving is not giving if you don't need it"

Really?

I was under the impression that Giving was still ultimately giving, but the more I thought about it the more it settled in me.

I have been reading a book by John Grisham called the Street Lawyer, in the story a wealthy Lawyer and friends are kept hostage by a homeless man. In the story you find that the homeless man is only doing it to get the hostages to have a better view on their giving. Most of the hostages were earning $300,000. or more a year. And although some were giving to charities that realistically a combined donation was only every given from the amount $2,000. The point was made, did these wealthy lawyers give a fair representation of their salary to the needy, no they didn't. They had far more than they ever needed.

I give a set amount to charities and churches. Probably not the biblical 10% but I give what I can, when I have it. I give my time to and help in what ever ways possible, this last bit is usually when I get the most enjoyment from the giving. As usually I know that i am giving my time to be helpful. So, although not financially 10% I would say there would be more.

Whilst trying to find the Mother Teresa quote I found a few more of hers that i though I would throw in, especially after the last paragraph about giving with enjoyment. “The person who gives with a smile is the best giver because God loves a cheerful giver.”

Sue also told a story on Sunday that brought tears to my eyes and distracted me just enough from getting up in time to start playing for sung worship, so I thought I would end on that story and a final Mother Teresa quote.

There was a little boy trying to sell newspapers in the rain, cold and wet and seeing the church open its doors the little boy decided that he would go in for a short while, trying his best to a least get some warmth and to dry out. The boy sat with his wet papers and listened to the priest giving the talk about Jesus and how much He loves us; with the priest really hitting home that the congregation needed to give more to Jesus. During the sung worship the collection plate was being passed around, but as the boy hadn't sold any papers he had nothing to give. At the end of the service, with the little boy now feeling the spirit of God touching him, and wanting to give, went up to the priest. The little boy grabbed the collection plate and put it on the floor, with a foot at a time he then stepped in. The priest turned and said "what do you think you are doing?" the little boy replied " I havn't got any money and even my newspapers are ruined by the rain, but I want to give something to the church, to God, so I give you myself, everything I am"

Sometimes, giving isn't just giving money or helping people, although this is a wonderful thing to do, but sometimes, giving is completely giving everything you can.

The last quote for you to think about from Mother Teresa:

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

Come Outside

I have had the pleasure recently to sit and watch a classic programme from my childhood: Come Outside, with Aunt Mabel and Pippin the dog.

*This blog post is a bit of fun, and I truly love this show*

Now, growing up I remember this programme being quite educational, even watching the odd episode as part of the teaching aide at my Primary school. William, now 2 and a half, absolutely loves it and will often request to watch a specific episode. But Strangely it is not what I remember at all!! And after sitting through an awful lot of these episodes I have to admit that I have gone off the series, not because of excessive watching either, but due to the fact that I have several issues with Aunt Mabel, played by Lynda Baron.

Why hasn't anyone stopped her, STOPPED IN HER TRACKS!

Now, for you who read this who do not know of the show, here is a brief outline of it with a few added facts:

Come Outside is a BBC educational children's television series that ran from 23 September 1993 to 18 March 1997. The two main characters of the show are Auntie Mabel (played by Lynda Baron of Open All Hours), and her dog Pippin. They go on adventures in Auntie Mabel's aeroplane, which is covered in coloured spots. Pippin was a mixed breed dog, possibly part Tibetan Terrier, roughly third generation descended from the famous American acting dog Benji and was owned and trained by Ann Head.

There were two dogs who played Pippin and although the first one died in 2008 (RIP Pippin #1) the second dog to play Pippin, although now in retirement played the Bakers biscuits dog, in the advert and is still pictured to this day as it's main dog!

The general concept of the show was to find out how things worked or how things were made, at which point Auntie Mabel would shout "Pippin it's time to fly" and off they would go in their plane on their adventures.

OK, so I am hoping that those among you that didn't know of the show will be caught up with the general idea and concept.


So here is the bit that made me go why hasn't she been stopped!

She (Auntie Mabel, not the lovely actress Lynda Baron) is not a very good role model to young children and the way that the world works now a days i would question why she is allowed on T.V. Now I am sure the Auntie Mabel and Pippin fans out there are outraged by my comments but I am hoping that you will read the rest of this and either laugh at my comical thoughts on the show or agree with it and will never be able to watch another episode without thinking "oh yeah, Martyn is right there"

The very first episode I saw was A Rainy Day: In this episode it is raining hard, Auntie Mabel's guttering breaks and she and Pippin go out to fix it. Got to give the old girl credit here, going out on a rainy, slippery day to climb a ladder and fix the guttering, I'll be honest I was just thankful she came down without hurting herself! Pippin, as a good dog follows her outside. She fixes the guttering and goes in where she sings incey wincy spider. Lovely........Where is Pippin? Oh he's outside getting wet!! She only remembers him after realising her Papers wet and that Pippin would need to go and get a new one! Poor dog, but Auntie Mabel had a stressful day we can let her off, can't we??

Next episode: This one aggravates me more!
It is about clay, oh how interesting i thought, William might learn something here. Auntie Mabel has a Teapot that breaks and wants to replace it. "Pippin it's time to fly"  What to the local shop, quick yes, but not very green is it? We find out that the shop is all out and they would have to wait a week for a new one. This isn't good enough. So we fly to the factory, where we see them made and varnished. We sadly again find out that the factory has sold their current stock but if we wait and hour we could have our Teapot. Instead of teaching my son patience and waiting the hour, Auntie Mabel and Pippin fly off to another independent maker, where they are out of clay and they go to a clay pit. In reality.in this time frame, even with flying, this probably took longer than an hour. But at least Auntie Mabel got her Teapot, when she wanted it!!

Auntie Mabel's care for Pippin deteriorates through the series.

In the episode named "Holes" she loses Pippin, who we find is stuck down a hole. In "Buses" she leaves Pippin on a Bus, and instead of going to the bus station and waiting and reporting Pippin lost, she goes home, gets in her plane and flys around looking for him, hang on, she must have amazing eye sight to see Pippin from up there, or maybe she is actually wanting to kill the world, eventually the bus station phone her with her reply " it's OK let him ride the bus back to my house". In the episode "Recycling" she actually loses Pippin at the Recycling dump and goes home without him. (I hate this episode I will say why a little later)
We see that his real main diet is just made of Sausages, which might be a nice treat, but seriously can't be healthy, no wonder they needed to replace the first one! In the episode names "brushes" Pippin is allowed to run around a dangerous factory causing mayhem, messing up the production. And on my last account of animal cruelty or careless behaviour the episode titled "Water" we see Pippin needing to a bowl of water, poor Pippin waits the entire episode for his water, when Auntie Mabel quite happily flushes her toilet, runs a bath and drinks water herself when telling the "fun" children's story. She even mocks Pippin, calling her a "Silly girl" or telling her off for doing a poo! Even her finishing statement of "Oh Pippin" this is just sad.

Why hasn't anyone phoned RSPCA on her? Everyone knows her, they all know and address her as Auntie Mabel, so obviously they know her fairly well, but everyone seems to be blind over her treatment of Pippin! What does she have over her community?!

The last point I will mention in the episode named "Letters" Auntie Mabel writes a letter to her friend who she has stayed with because they left Pippins bag at her friends house. Now, knowing Auntie Mabel's lack of love for the environment we would assume that she would jump on a plane and go get the bag. No! She rides in a post van, and then disturbs the post office and then rides the post train, where she then arrives at her letters destination. At which point she then gets Pippins missing bag and abuses the post service for the return journey home. What a pointless episode.
Oh and the Recycling episode mentioned above, does anyone else think it slightly redundant that Aunt Mabel flys to and from the recycling plant (twice) when the episode is about trying our best to save the world and reduce our carbon footprint!

So, in conclusion, this woman needs to be stopped. Poor Pippin.

        ...............................................................................................

p.s  I would love you guys to pay attention to the blatant pretend dog in the aeroplane with the robotics moving!

Who do you think you are?!

I was listening to a talk at Holy Trinity Church, Twydall, about saints, being All Saints day.
It really got me thinking, so decided to write about it.


There has been running, for a few years a historical genealogical programme called Who do you think you are? For those who don't know, it traces the family tree of celebraties. It can, at times,  be quite interesting.


The main reason of the show is to remember the important roles that the possibly insignificant people of their time had on the family and friends around them or after them.


Is that  true meaning of saints (with a small s )?


There are so many people in this world who do so much for the people around them, and actually the majority of the time the recipitent is unaware fully of what a person is actually doing! I am fully aware of the fact that I have friends and family who do so much more than I am aware of.


There are so many saints in the world, Christian or not, these people will be remembered for their works to others, even if it is just one person.


This really got to me. The thought of me dying, quite understandably, goes through my mind a lot. Not because I am scared of death, oh no, but what is left behind after I am gone. The "inheritance" of my life. I want to be remembered for the good i do or have done, not for the sins that have shaped us. I try to be a good man and do my good deeds but am constantly aware that I could do more and be more, so am always trying to help people and have a purpose to be remembered by. The thing that makes a difference. I suppose even to be a saint to someone.


I recently took a friend to college in Canterbury, and when do I usually wait round for several hours. I thought I would go and visit a church that I always wanted to visit when lived down there. When i turned up, there was a man laying in the church grounds; due to its uneven path I couldn't get to help the man. Banging loudly on the church door, some ladies (afternoon tea) came out. After explaining that this man needed help, they straight away explained "that he was probably a drunk and don't worry" It took a lot of arguing to convince them to check this man. He was drunk and homeless, and on checking he then went of his way and refused any assistance. It really shook me how people could act like that, and this time I'm talking about the Christians and not the homeless man. I was truly ashamed of how unwillingly these people, these Christians, were to help, especially when you consider the modern similarities of the good Samaritan.


I honestly believe we can help and shape people lives and that kindness is the way to do it. Being saintlike is far from easy, and I am definitley not the ideal model, but I try, and think that is important.


At school i had a wonderful R.E teacher Dr. Dean, she was possibly my favourite teacher. She spent time with my individual care and learning, she even inspired my way to faith, probably unknowingly. I pray and wish her well even to this day, because her kindness to me showed me a person of God. A real saint in my eyes.


But as it says in Matthew 5v9: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.


So, who do you think you are? Humbly you are no one, and that should be the way, as I have said before don't be a "Here I am person". I say be the peacemakers, bring peace through kindness and shape somebody's life, try and be a child of God and be a saint to someone.

What do you see?

If any of you are aware of the Alpha courses that go on around the world, I hope that you all agree that they are a fantastic evangelistic tool for the world?

If you are unaware, the course is run by local churches, helping the community to explore Christianity and faith. Their opening tag line is usually "Is there more to life".

I have (as some of you may know) attended quite a few Alpha courses and have learnt and experienced many different things on the way, different people views on Christianity, Jesus and their own battles in life, I have even seen people come to God through it (Like i did) But Ultimately the main reason that people go on these course is because there is something missing or not quite right in their lives and they are on a road in search of a truth.

On one of the course titled weeks "The Holy Spirit" the church which I have attended spent it in a day of talks and gathering, and at which point we ask for the Holy Spirit to come into our lives.

With Alpha courses starting up around the country and the fact that we are following the course as part of our home study group these up rooted questions that Alpha offers have been swirling around my mind.

I decided to pray about it, and whilst reading through one of my note books i came across a talk that I had noted from Malcolm Duncan and it just seemed to "fit" with the ideas in my head. So i thought I would share:

The truth in life is a question that everyone looks for and asks; Ultimately, we as Christians only need to acknowledge one truth, that whatever the scenario that God ultimately wins.

In a lot of my recent post i have described some stories of Jesus and how He sees us as creation differently, and we once we have seen Him see creation differently.
Many Christians can still be sceptical with the gifts that God presents, I am. I have never witnessed healing, I want healing, i Know God can heal me, and that He will heal me either in the life or the next. But What the talk by Malcolm reminded me is that I have already been healed. When i saw Christ, when I felt and met with Him, I was healed because He gave me new eyes, eyes to see life and creation differently.

Now, many of you know that our Body is only theoretically a few years old, our skin grows and flakes off, to show a fresher layer of skin underneath; which makes are skin usually around 14 days old. Our hair grow and we cut it. We get new teeth in our youth, even Wisdom teeth later on. Our Blood cells are about 120 days old. Even our bones are constantly changing with our bone cells being around 10 years old. I am sure if we investigated it more and more that we would see that our body changes to create a new us.

What about our eyes? You only ever hear or people getting worse eye sight. Scientists are baffled by the age of cells in people eyes, and can not determine an "age". Malcolm points out that our eyes are very much the key to seeing Jesus and then therefore creation differently, but how many of us who pray, pray for new eyes? Like the rest of the body, we get a chance to slither out of our old skin and become someone new, but what about our eyes?

Don't become lethargic in life and faith, do not become stagnant in what you see, ask God for different eyes.

In Ezekiel 8 you can read time and time again about God talking about SEEING.In verse 6 "Son of man, do you see what they are doing"

AND again,
12 He said to me, "Son of man, have you seen what the elders of Israel are doing in the darkness, each at the shrine of his own idol? They say, ‘The LORD does not see us; the LORD has forsaken the land.’" 13 Again, he said, "You will see them doing things that are even more detestable."

If you study and look over that chapter you will constantly come across see, seen, saw and seeing!

"Son of man can you see" three times He says it, 3! do we not then assume that this message for sight is an important one?

Our we as a society to caught up in being seen, which i have covered before in other blog posts. The HERE I AM culture that we all seem to be living in. How about the culture of seeing, can we see God?

Isiah 6
"I saw the Lord - Here I am"

We SEE it again in Job 42

I have heard of you, no I have seen you.
Have you seen Him?

Psalm 46
Take a look at you God

So, have you seen Him. I know people who say they have a greater connection with God when they are at church. The "find" Him there. I always smile when i hear this. I find Him there.....Just as if we are playing a massive game of hide and seek.
But if it is true and so many people find and see God in churches, then what do we SEE when we see a church?

Do we see the Church as an army, an army ready to invade the darkness? or as it says in Ezekiel are we looking at the darkness in the church?

And finally, the end of this post (Although there will be a part 2)

How do you SEE yourself?

Do we pray to ask God to help us have new eyes to SEE ourselves better?

Numbers 13
"we've seen ourselves as grasshoppers in our own eyes"

Grasshoppers.

What do you see when you look at yourself? would you describe yourself as a small creature, a lowly insect?

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel small apart from you"

So do we pray and ask for new eyes to see us as God sees us?

God made us perfect, it was us who changed.

I said above about how we SEE church, then I went quickly into seeing us. But that is the amazing thing about the Truth that we have when we come and meet with Jesus. Of course we find God in church, He is probably the only one who has ever attended EVERY meeting, because the truth is He is everywhere, living amongst us at every point, with everyone.

He is always SEEING us, so we should start trying to see ourselves.