Women are mental!

Women are mental!

Ok, I'm sure this is a statement I am sure I will regret, especially knowing that so many of my readers are female, and knowing that the two closest people in my life are women, but never the less, I feel it's something I need to get off my chest.

I always think about the scene from Scrubs when the character J.D talks to his friend, his best-friend's girlfriend, and she starts telling him about her crazy thoughts, at which point she looks demonic and her head explodes with a "mental" stream of light.







This scene is funny, but ever the more so because it is true, that is exactly what it feels like, especially when you have so many female friends.

I am quite feminine, there is so much that I enjoy doing that people laugh at me about, mainly because its not "manly" to do it. I love musicals, love love love them, even have a list of CD's in the car that I "belt" the songs out at the top of my voice. I love florists, I know that's mad, but I truly enjoy going into a well presented florists, where clearly every pattern and design has been carefully organised. I knit, I mend clothes, and love to cook. This is just to name a few of my girly ways.

I have a crazy mother, who is obsessed with the running of my life to every detail. I have a crazy Aunt who see her dog as her personal companion. I have a crazy Wife, who barked at me the first time we met and would quite happily make animal noises in public places. I have a crazy bestfriend who although has no real defining crazy trait, does none the less seem to act crazy. Without even mentioning my mother and sisters in law. I am just thankful I don't have daughers. At school, due to the spelling of my name, (I was taken as 'Martine' rather than Martyn) I was put in the girls' classes. When playing, I rarely played football with the boys, I played with the girls and made daisy chains. At Uni I was the only guy on my course with 70 female students, and I lived with four women in the Uni accomodation. My first job, I worked in a card shop where I was the only man, and after completing uni and becoming a primary school teacher, I sadly was once again surrounded by women (this is sad because there should be more male teachers, not because of the women). Being surrounded by women my whole life has just happened, and has probably shaped my character. 

But I am not a women, I am a man, and although I list the things above and can't stand football, I am still am male and still have very male qualities. These male qualitities really frustrate me, only because it makes everything so difficult. Because of the so called feminine features of my character, I tend to attract female friends more than male, and if I was brutally honest I would probably say I only have one male friend. But ultimately, the male characteristics make it difficult to really relate to females. I often hear that men and women can't be friends. I understand that due to the "physical" attraction people may have, that it can be awkward to stay friends. That has never been an issue for me, it just has never occured to think otherwise. For me it is important for all the females in my life to be able to chat and have similar interests (although none really have the things listed above) and that's why we get on so well, despite my short comings in always being able to understand their crazy points of view.

My friendships with women in the past do echo the current friendships. This is because they are mental!! I still have no idea half the time what I have said or meant, or how what I've said has meant something else, three weeks on from when I said it. Speaking generally to other men, I find they have similar issues with their wives or daughters, where we will quite happily laugh at the "how was I meant to know what my wife was really thinking" or "How did I know my sister wasn't alright, especially when she was telling me she was fine"  These are laughable things, because we have all been in relationships with people where that has happened, but what I have only realised is that is the barrier between men and women is never expressed fully. It is a horrible fact that I have been surrounded by women my entire life (and this does please me a bit) but I am also probably going to have female friends more in the future, and eventually I will have to deal with the fact that women are mental, and I will never have a hope of ever understanding them. Either that or just keep assuming that I am paranoid and think that all these women in my life all meet up to torture me somehow.