My Eternity talk.

Mike quite kindly asked if I would talk for the Eternity service, and he gave me the topic which was pretty cool: "Being a Christian in 2011." So, I thought, why not give it a go!

I thought I would start by talking about what I thought it was about, so I made a list (I love lists), and thought that by writing down the things I do, it might give me a clearer a picture of what a Christian in 2011 was.

No, This didn't help, so I decided to go shopping instead!

I went to Hempstead valley to get a new phone. I have a Nokia.....whatever the number is, (I can't keep track). I have it on contract and although I have a contract for 24 months, I actually have the choice for an upgrade at 18 months, so therefore it being 18 months I thought I would go and investigate.

Now I will be honest, I hate my phone, it always seems to go wrong. Does anyone else just look at there phone and want more from it? How many of you have 02? Did you feel lost without it on Tuesday? That is all I saw on Facebook and Twitter...."Stupid O2". Luckily, I'm not with O2 anymore so it didn't bother me, but my phone still does.

I would love an iPhone! Even more so an iPad. I think they are brilliant. Quite a while back, I was sitting in church when a reading came up, some grabbed the Bibles in front of them, and some got their iPads out and clicked a button, typed a little and then got the verse up on their screen, I was amazed, really amazed, if anything this made me want it more. I might not be the most technical guy in the world but I do like some bits and love a good gadget. When in the past I have spoken to people about God and the Bible, the amount of times I have thought 'why haven't I got my Bible here so I can flick through and find the bit I want?' but as I don't, I tend not to even mention it. But with an iPad I could do that! What else could it do? So, still distracting myself from doing the talk, I sat and thought about the reasons I could get one!! Or the excuses I could use to convince Candy! Not only would the iPad allow me to to have the normal text and phone packages, I could now have these Apps that could help me throughout the week for Bible passages. With the iPhone, I can dial friends in an emergency, which, I was thinking, would be fantastic for me. Especially as even without a signal, you can always make emergency calls. I would need this more than ever.

I could have a better Internet access than I have now on my phone, which means I could go on Facebook more, and even more so I could access my blog, I could blog more, so with Facebook, Twitter and my blog being the main ways that I evangelise, there was only one clear answer. This iPhone or iPad can make my christian life so much easier!! Let alone my non-christian life! I must have one!

So this got me thinking, what other technology helps me have a better relationship with God? Some of you must have used some technology to help you? Is it just the fact that you have Facebook accounts and can build upon the community spirit, muck around and support your friends. I know I enjoy that I use it more for mucking around and joking than anything else. Or is it that, like me again, when trying to prep something for house group, or youth groups, that you sit down and go online, straight to Google and find the web pages with good ideas and crafts on? Or 'Bible gateway' to get the perfect quote?

I love music, so I will tend to go online and either visit Worship Central or have a collection of worship songs in Youtube. It's great, most of the time it will allow you to read the words and sing aloud. But then, just so I don't disturb Candy and Will, and they don't disturb me, I also needed a decent pair of headphones, and when I worked at Bose I thought I would definitely need a pair of noise cancelling headphones. Then that way no one will disturb the other and that way I can have some concentrated worship time. Even if you don't use that much technical stuff at home, I know a few of you "belt out" a good song in the car.

But at which point are we putting these items in front of our relationship with God? We always say that these things are great for helping our relationship with God. I know that I would question how often I would sing, and sing worship songs without the technology that I have mentioned. But is that really true?

The other week at the Easter service we had a small malfunction, where the words disappeared from the screen for three songs, that could have been it. We could have all stopped singing and but we didn't. We continued to lift our voices and carry on, some who knew the songs were fine, and there was even that awkward mumble from the ones that didn't. So where is that strong supported singing now? Why don't I do it? How often do you do it? I was at a friends house the other day and they kept singing a particular line from a song over and over again, not because it was annoying but clearly they had a line from a worship song in their head. Why was my first response 'why are you singing?' Is it because it looks unnatural or strange to us to be singing without music, without the technology around us and screen in front of us? Yet the Bible has books soley for songs and how people were just rejoicing in the witnessed Glory of the Lord, and I am pretty sure that they didn't have the screens or lyrics in front of them. But you get my point, like the song says 'when the music fades, all is stripped away', but we know that-we know not to put the music in front of the Lord, but rather up to Him; shouldn't we be doing that with the technology we have? Even at this Eternity service, we have a smaller screen set up for us to read the words, but realistically, most of you were concentrating on God and the words of meaning and had your eyes closed. So was our selling point of the Eternity service the screen? Did the people who set it up waste 45 minutes on the technology that they could have spent on their relationship with God?

Facebook, however great it is, is not helping us truly step forward to the oncoming years for Evangalism. Lets have a look at the stories in the Bible: every one of key significance was a gathering. When Jesus appeared to the disciples on the beach, where they sat around a fire and ate fish, what would be the relevance of that now? Jesus signed on to Facebook, where he put twelve of his friends under chat and said 'hi guys I am back!'? Or that he created a social event called 'fish supper at the sea'? I know this is just an extreme way of looking at it, but I always found that the beauty of Jesus and the twelve disciples was the fact that they sat and spoke to one another, they had that personal relationship, and it was this relationship that inspired others to follow. I can just imagine the disciples going off to tell the world of their friend, and the love that is in their eyes for that relationship.

I fell over at home the other month (it was horrible): I had gotten up really well and was planning on going into the kitchen to get a drink. But my legs twitched and I buckled over, tried to support myself with my arms, which also twitched and then headbutted the floor. Laying there with my arms trapped underneath me, not being able to move, I saw out of the corner of my eye my phone on the arm of the chair. That will be the point of my rescue. If I lay here long enough I can rest, pray to the Lord for recovery, and he will bring me peace in that time, and then when ready I could try to get my phone and call for help. Like I discussed earlier, phones can just allow you so much access to contact. That was a split moment of thinking, one that I am often known to think in these scenerios. Although the next thing to happen, happened with no contact at all, no technology. My brother randomly walks around to the back door, lets himself in, which from this point of view must have been a very strange thing as he see me laying locked on the floor. He grabs under my arms and by my belt, flings me up in the air to standing, calls me a fat so-and-so and then says 'sorry, I was just down the road working and I needed the loo' at which he runs up stairs to the toilet. He then comes down, shouts bye and off he went back to work. No questioning-no worry. He had that relationship with me that he didn't call first to check that it was ok, he just knew he could let himself into my house and go to the toilet. The more and more I thought about this, the more I realised that not only was God present right there in that moment, but that it wasn't the technology that helped. It was Him. I have been told over and over that Facebook has allowed relationships to regrow by connecting people over distances, but isn't this techno relationship a poor substitute for their actual company? A picture of your sisters newborn the same as holding them for the first time? If i had my phone it would have probably been my brother that I had rung, but the feeling between us wouldn't have been the same-the nature of phones being what they are, it would have been punctuated with small talk, but our relationship is so much deeper than that.

I was very lucky and blessed that day because of the specific relationship I have with my brother. Was that relationship created through us being facebook friends? Or because we shared a bedroon and played together for most of the childhood, we lived, played, ate and laughed together. The same way Jesus did with his disciples and the life that they had with each other.

I was asked by Mike to talk about being a Christian in 2011. I could have stood here and told you that we need to connect with what the popular youth culture is requesting, having our own facebook page, and creating events, I could have said about the blog culture that is happening and how we evangilise. But honestly, is that it? is that the acts of being a Christian in 2011, using the technology to talk about God, using technology to build a relationship with Him, helping us find a new way to relate. Or is it that we are using all these things, and they are just another form of idolitry? Another allowance and excuse to not sit and talk to your friends. "Oh I must have the ipad 21 because this allows me to directly speak to God!" If anything, my Christian form of evangilsm with technology like blogging (and before it is pointed out, I realise the irony that me posting this has on the whole talk, but sadly I think this is the only way a lot of people who didn't go to the service would know) has probably alienated me with my non christian friend because they will see the "Godboy" has posted another God post. Why am I not sitting down with them at a BBQ by the beach and showing them that the relationship I have with Jesus is the same as the one I have with my brother, allowing them to see the same love in my eyes.

I am not saying cut the technology out either, I am well aware that this technology is here to aid us. If it means people can read the bible on the move, or connect with long lost relatives from around the world at a cheaper more accessible way. Then great.  I found it amazing on Thursday that I was able to get people praying for Candy and then for our friends to celebrate in teh arrival of our son. But I had to turn my phone off as it is connected to my Facebook account and wouldn't stop going off with people messages, if it my phone didn't have a five minute break I wouldn't have been able to rest. So just consider the time that you are doing with the technology you are using, is it just a quick time or hours of wasted facebook "liking". Use the technology to help you worship, don't worship just because you have the technology too.

It was recently reported on the news that people are getting lost on cross country trecks because they have stopped taking maps with them, and then when Google maps fails on their iPad they are stranded and needing rescuing. So how can we cope with this sole dependancey on technology?

I like to remember that sometimes you are and can be in a place where no worship song, no Christian book, no preacher or not even a close friend or relative can help you. No phone or Internet, no status update or chat. Aren't you glad that there is a 'very present help in time of need?'. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! His presence is the most satisfying thing on earth! One moment with Him can change your life forever!

So a few questions to leave you thinking about: How often do we just stand and sing? or dance because we're happy? How often do you sit with anyone and tell them about God or even just sitting and talking to them. When was the last time you looked into somebodies eyes and saw that spark of Christian love, the love for God? Do you think they see that in you, for them to really see God, through you? I know last week we looked at Colossians and the fact that Jesus was the Visible image of God, and He is! He is the embodied God. But shouldn't we all be meeting people and standing there and allowing them to see the image and likeness of God through us? Isn't that what it is to be a Christian in 2011, trying hard to build the relationships as they did in 11AD by standing and forming these close relationships, possible without technology being involved. The spread of Christianity was immense after Jesus ressurection, and it wasn't because someone facebooked it!

The birth of my second Son!

I am pleased to say that on Thursday the 19th of May 2011 James Keith Kitney was born! He weighed in  at 6.4lbs and was absolutely gorgeous, he was just over two weeks early, but luckily we were all ready for him, and are even happier on his arrival.

So, without Candy going mad at me sharing too much detail, I thought that I will share what happened. It might save me from repeating it a few times!!

I managed to get in quite late Wednesday evening after the 18-30's cell group (Which was great) and was just adding the last few bits to a talk that I had been asked to do. By the time I finally got into bed it was around 1am I was shattered, but alas, like recent evenings, I wasn't ready to go to sleep and was laying awake thinking of a hundred and one different things. I even think I posted on Facebook that I couldn't sleep and was frustrated, which usually somehow manages to knock me out.

The next thing I know, Candy is calling me from the bathroom, after I checked my phone and saw it was 3:45 (am) Candy was shouting that it was time, so after the near event on the previous Sunday I made sure we had 5 regular contractions. RIGHT!! IT IS NOW!!

I phoned the midwife delivery suite and informed them that Candy was in labour, and then called Candy's sister, Carissa, who was planning on being birthing partner. At 4:30am they both turned up. Candy by this point was laying in a nice warm bath, trying her hardest to go with the flow of the contractions. It seemed not to take long for the second Midwife and her Student to turn up and set up, so with three midwives in the room, Candy moved over to the bed. Candy was great, she didn't take a lot of Gas and Air and did nearly all the midwives told her to do. The only thing that she was fighting was the suggestion that she walk around, with the midwives hoping that gravity would assist.

Whilst these things were going on, Candy being under the influence of Gas and Air was hilarious! Well for me she was! I know, she has done an amazing thing but it was funny. Candy shouted " No, its Megmeg (our black fluffy Persian cat) She's in labour! And Poppy (our Ginger Persian cat) is watching!" Now, after, Candy will tell you that she heard the midwives talking about the cats walking in and out and that she was trying to reassure them that it was OK for Poppy and Meg to be in the room, because our cat, Meg, had had a litter of kittens. But for me this was brilliant!

Candy, continued to push and do so well, Carissa was being a great support and holding her hand and reassuring her. After two hours the midwives were getting a little concerned but only because they were worried that Candy was getting tired. One of the midwives put her gloves on just to inspect and POP! James, head and to toe, very quickly came out. We checked the time and at 7:05am he was laying on mummy.

I couldn't fault the midwives they were great, they really supported Candy and made everyone feel at ease. We would say that as long as you're healthy and have a healthy pregnancy that a home birth is a great idea. Candy felt more relaxed and could actually request whatever she wanted around us, rather than keeping with Hospital protocol. She had her own TV, ate what she liked when she wanted and, rather than being something clinical and detatched, the birth became a family event.

William was brilliant, he slept through the night and noise and only woke at half 6, where he was quite happy eating his breakfast and watching TV. When he met James, he gave him a kiss and a cuddle, but was far happier that James had got him a wooden train set to play with. ( I personally don't know how James went to Toys 'R' Us, but good thinking little man ;-) your brother loved it ) He has been beautifully behaved and has even tried his hardest to help Daddy tidy when he can.

The only down side, and this is a fault with me rather than home birth, is that I should have been stricter in allowing family in that evening, hospitals have a strict two to a bed rule and only have a two hour visiting time. Candy and I both found it quite stressful; at one point the following evening there were ten people in our bedroom wanting a cuddle-with James, not me-sad times. I know they are our family and that they love us, but maybe I should have used the rest of the house better. I feel I am now able, a couple of days on, to organise guests better; visitors can have a cuddle and see Candy and James, but they can also sit and have a cup of tea and wait if necessary, and Candy can be alone with James to sleep or feed, or as seems to be the case most of the time, Will, Candy and James having a giggle on my bed while I play gate keeper to the stairs.
Anyway, a few pics for you to enjoy.

Yesterday and the panic!

In words of my mother....What a palaver!

My wife, Candy is 38 weeks pregnant with our second child James.  With our first child I was a very nervous parent, every twinge and ache Candy got I was panicked and would get her to ring her midwife or we would be straight up the local hospital.

I was terrified that something would go wrong and everybody would say it is better to be safe than sorry.

Although looking back at it, Candy was always told that she had a healthy and "textbook" pregnancy and that there wasn't anything to worry about. The labour was quick, (well, as mentioned in a previous post Candy had pains about 18 hours before hand but with pain killers, a hot bath and a sleep she slpet through most of it) Candy woke me up at 5:30 and we were holding William at 8:30am.

This time, we have been reminded how healthy Candy and baby is and again we are always hearing about the fact that it is another "textbook" pregnancy. This has helped us make the decision to have a home birth, there is a number of reason to why we have, but knowing that Candy and baby are healthy we though why not.

Yesterday we had our first false alarm, but it wasn't through worry this time, we have generally shrugged off all the previous stuff "false alarms" and braxton hicks, knowing that when the time comes it will come.

Yesterday morning Candy woke up, she looked drained and pale, and was complaining of a deep ache and cramps throughout, although there was no consitancy with them, but they definately wern't braxton hicks. She felt sick, but hadn't been.

Well, for me I plodded along and went to church. During the service it intensified and Candy ended up being sick. But the thought to be contractions were still irregular, so my mind was in full spin, even to the point that Candy turned to me and said this "could be it" when asking if she was sure the reply was " I don't know I can't fully remember what it was like". She could distingish that it wasn't braxton hicks but couldn't remeber if it was contractions. So my goal was to get William out of the house and entertain him, even if it wasn't labour Candy didn't need the pressure of him running around. With my mum in hospital for surgery I took Will to my bestfriends house, where I think more than anything her and her husband entertained Will and me! I was quite on edge waiting for the phone call that this was definately it, but no, the"contractions" were still coming but no pattern or regularity. So the fact that they were there really helped me.

The decision was made that we call the midwife out to check anyway, it had been 8 hours of feeling like this it was best to check out now. William was left with Kelly and Jon and I went off. By the time I got home, Candy was in bed resting and Candys sister, Carissa was turning up. Midwife arrives and we find out that without a diagnosis (As she can only identify and help with pregnancy and birth) that it is likely that Candy has a stomach bug, but this was definately not labour! If anything it was still braxton hicks. Knowing this, we have come to the conclusion that the normal cramp and pain you get with stomach bugs with teh combination of braxton hicks gave Candy a new "contraction" like feeling.

Candy is now fine, a little sore and slightly sickly but not as bad as yesterday. we saw the midwife for a check up this morning and James is well. All in all this event has made me quite anxious and on edge, the panic has set in. However, what it has shown me is that we have everything around that we need, that we will cope and be successful when the time does come and that we have such loving friends and family who were here for us.

All that is needed now is for James to arrive.

Women are mental!

Women are mental!

Ok, I'm sure this is a statement I am sure I will regret, especially knowing that so many of my readers are female, and knowing that the two closest people in my life are women, but never the less, I feel it's something I need to get off my chest.

I always think about the scene from Scrubs when the character J.D talks to his friend, his best-friend's girlfriend, and she starts telling him about her crazy thoughts, at which point she looks demonic and her head explodes with a "mental" stream of light.







This scene is funny, but ever the more so because it is true, that is exactly what it feels like, especially when you have so many female friends.

I am quite feminine, there is so much that I enjoy doing that people laugh at me about, mainly because its not "manly" to do it. I love musicals, love love love them, even have a list of CD's in the car that I "belt" the songs out at the top of my voice. I love florists, I know that's mad, but I truly enjoy going into a well presented florists, where clearly every pattern and design has been carefully organised. I knit, I mend clothes, and love to cook. This is just to name a few of my girly ways.

I have a crazy mother, who is obsessed with the running of my life to every detail. I have a crazy Aunt who see her dog as her personal companion. I have a crazy Wife, who barked at me the first time we met and would quite happily make animal noises in public places. I have a crazy bestfriend who although has no real defining crazy trait, does none the less seem to act crazy. Without even mentioning my mother and sisters in law. I am just thankful I don't have daughers. At school, due to the spelling of my name, (I was taken as 'Martine' rather than Martyn) I was put in the girls' classes. When playing, I rarely played football with the boys, I played with the girls and made daisy chains. At Uni I was the only guy on my course with 70 female students, and I lived with four women in the Uni accomodation. My first job, I worked in a card shop where I was the only man, and after completing uni and becoming a primary school teacher, I sadly was once again surrounded by women (this is sad because there should be more male teachers, not because of the women). Being surrounded by women my whole life has just happened, and has probably shaped my character. 

But I am not a women, I am a man, and although I list the things above and can't stand football, I am still am male and still have very male qualities. These male qualitities really frustrate me, only because it makes everything so difficult. Because of the so called feminine features of my character, I tend to attract female friends more than male, and if I was brutally honest I would probably say I only have one male friend. But ultimately, the male characteristics make it difficult to really relate to females. I often hear that men and women can't be friends. I understand that due to the "physical" attraction people may have, that it can be awkward to stay friends. That has never been an issue for me, it just has never occured to think otherwise. For me it is important for all the females in my life to be able to chat and have similar interests (although none really have the things listed above) and that's why we get on so well, despite my short comings in always being able to understand their crazy points of view.

My friendships with women in the past do echo the current friendships. This is because they are mental!! I still have no idea half the time what I have said or meant, or how what I've said has meant something else, three weeks on from when I said it. Speaking generally to other men, I find they have similar issues with their wives or daughters, where we will quite happily laugh at the "how was I meant to know what my wife was really thinking" or "How did I know my sister wasn't alright, especially when she was telling me she was fine"  These are laughable things, because we have all been in relationships with people where that has happened, but what I have only realised is that is the barrier between men and women is never expressed fully. It is a horrible fact that I have been surrounded by women my entire life (and this does please me a bit) but I am also probably going to have female friends more in the future, and eventually I will have to deal with the fact that women are mental, and I will never have a hope of ever understanding them. Either that or just keep assuming that I am paranoid and think that all these women in my life all meet up to torture me somehow.