The People in my life : Part 1 - William

I thought I would write a few small blog posts about the people in my life, and start with my eldest son, William (William Martin Kitney born in February 2009). I would talk about my youngest son, James, but at this time he is only 4 days old, and although I love him, I don’t know him as well as William.

William is gorgeous, even if i do say so myself! He is currently two years and three months, which for me means fun, fun, fun!

He is quite chatty and for his age has a brilliant vocabulary, even if he is not enunciating all the words clearly-the more you are around him the easier he is to understand. He has a cheeky little smile and a beautiful look in his eyes when he is trying to be cheeky; something I suppose I shouldn't be in support of,but can't help smiling seeing the twinkle in his eye when he's up to mischief.

His overall development is probably average for his age, you could quite arguably say that some things he is way ahead, like his logical way of understanding and doing things, and his amazing imaginative play. But then,  in other areas, he still has trouble singing songs and knowing where his physical boundaries are: i.e. jumping and landing.  So, all in all, he is probably about average for things.

He loves learning; he is quite good at his sign language and using this as part of his regular activities. Reading, he can't actually read, but he loves a good book, and has taken after his father by having a real love for the Gruffolo series, which he will laugh and talk about.

He is really inquisitive though, I like this most about him, and for me this shows his intelligence. I am not the type of parent that wants their children to be more intelligent or more physical, I want my sons to be who they are, but if they show a certain tendency then I will encourage it. Will's tendency is to know everything that he can know for his little mind, this is often shown through is great memory of people, things and events.
If he sees a piggy bank for example, he will look at it, try to get the money out anyway he can and then investigate the money and will then put it back in the piggy bank....at this point he is done and he will move on to the next thing to investigate, but only after he has asked if he can.

I love this, it is tiring and frustrating, mainly because we are always running around after his latest adventure. But the reason I truly love it because I see every moment that he is learning and remembering something new.

This behaviour is often frowned upon; people look at him and think he is being naughty. But I honestly don't think he is, he wasn't being naughty, and he was touching to investigate (Usually with the adults permission). When things matter, really matter, he will sit and listen, he will do what you have asked him. Does it mean we have to talk to him more so he understands....of course it does! But then isn't that our responsibility? Not his fault. We have taught him that there are some things he can touch and that there are things that he is never to touch and he is pretty good at that. He will, I suppose like most children, test his boundaries not only with us but with others every so often, but isn’t that his way of reassuring his own behaviour?

So, when we hear people telling him off for touching or investigating it makes me sad, when people tell us how their child never did these things, and how they sat still, this is fine, for your child if that is how you want them to be. For me, if Will was hurting someone, if he is hurting himself, or about to hurt him and if he is rude and unkind, well then of course discipline him. If he is asking questions and investigating, then I really don't mind.

Will and I didn’t bond well (or as well as I would have liked) when he was born. We still sat and cuddled and played, but I think I was always very aware of my health boundaries and held back a little. Because of this, not only is he a mummy’s boy but a clingy one at that. But recently, I decided to make a real effort with him, having more specific activities with him, talking to him more about what he is doing. This has helped with the birth of James, as Will is now spending more time with me, I think because he knows that Mummy is currently a little preoccupied with James. But for me, it just means I have more time to play and talk. It is still hard, especially with my certain limitations, but I know it is important for us all. We share time in the garden together, where he uses his seaside spade to help me dig, which is always “helpful”, even when it is probably not.

So that is my child and my relationship with him.

He is a beautiful and intelligent child and because of that I love him, and cannot wait to see that boy that he continues to turn into!