OK, so this is the third part of my posts on people in my life. I was thinking that I seem to be putting them in priority, not purposefully.
My Mum and Dad.
I love my Mum and Dad, that probably seems such a redundant thing to say but it is true. I look back on my life a thank God for the gift of my parents and how they have shaped my life.
I was adopted at 14 months old, into the loving parents that are Pauline and Keith. They had adopted my (non-biological) brother 4 years before me. I love that I was adopted, not only for the fact that later on in life after opening my file that I realise how lucky I was to be adopted ( I'll write about my adoption at a later time) but also am reminded that I was chosen, chosen by these parents to put their love and affection into. I do believe sometimes that you don't fully appreciate being born into your family, especially nowadays when you see so many "accidents" ( I really hate that wording, but you all understand what I mean). Anyway, back to my point, I was always told I was chosen to be loved and that has stuck with me.
My Mum is brilliant! She has a very strict way of living, loving her routine and organisation. She always likes to use this gift of organising with others, where it often comes across as rude and interfering, but when you realise why she does it then it is quite endearing. My Mum lost her father ( William's name sake) when she had just turned 14. Her mum did not cope well, and relied on her 14 year old daughter to become head of the house, looking after not only herself but her younger brother. I think that by having to take on that much responsibility at such an early age must have intergrated these traits into her persona. She met my Dad that same year (just before Granddad died) so I think she held on to him as part of her routine. She went on to have secretarial work within the army, working for different branches, dealing with specific specialised tasks. I personally think that her spending that amount of time in the army intensified her super-organised personality.
As a mum, she was the one to be scared of- the one you did not upset, and if you saw her take her sandal (Scholl ( Wooden bottom shoes)) off - trust me, you ran! But she also put all her energy into us, loving us. One of my favourite memories is laying on her, giving cuddles, after Dad had bathed me, just cuddling into her. I wish I was almost that small to enjoy that feeling. She was always the Mum in the school defending my corner, but was attacking me from the teacher’s point of view when we got home, often with a Scholl to hand.
Dad, well, what can I say about my Dad! Except that he bugs me!! He is the friendliest man I know, he will openly talk to anyone about anything.....always with a coffee in hand or a cigarette hanging out of his mouth!! He comes from a traditionalist family, where all that matters is family, and this is very clear in his attitude, and I hope that this trait is the one thing I can truly take from him. He was my inspiration force behind all of my music, constantly pushing me to be better and achieve. He did that in all the things we did, he took us to cricket, Karate, Cubs and Scouts, Ice Skating, to work with him and would always make sure we helped him in the garden. If you ask me straight off who I spent more time with as a child I would say Mum (Dad was always too busy working or sleeping where he was tired from work), but when you list the things out loud that he did with us, you can clearly see he spent every moment he could with his two boys. He worked hard as a milkman for many years, until the physical strain stopped him. But the sheer fact that he talks to complete strangers, literally anywhere we, go bugs me-no matter how much he is or was good with us! But I suppose embarrasing your children is one of the main roles of a father, and I'm sure I'll make my boys cringe when they're older.
The one thing that I truly love about my parents, that I could never talk about properly, is the fact that although I can say the things above about them, the truth is that I don't really know them! They adopted us when they were in their 40's, and having lived two decades as a couple without children, they've obviously lived a life before Nathan and I came along. And although I know this, it brings no comfort from the random sneak views into their past lives, when they will both come out with information about their life before they adopted us. I am 28 years old with my brother Nathan being 32, neither of us would have ever heard in the 30 years of knowing them that they did these things, for instance, I recently found out that they were international ten pin bowling players! I know it sounds crazy, but we didn't know (I didn't believe them until they showed the photos and badges etc.) until just a few months ago! If there are two people in the world who know how to live, and live a life well, it is my mum and dad.
I am lucky to have been given such a wonderful childhood and an adulthood full of love and support (if anything, they are even better grandparents than they were parents-Will is always on his best behaviour at their house, but is simultaneously spoilt rotten, but I think that's what grandads and nannys are for!). I am the person I am because my life has been shaped by the nurture of these two amazing people. And in the argument between nurture and nature, I can tell you that nurture wins hands down for me.
Thanks, Mum. Thanks, Dad. I couldn't have made it without you.
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