My mum and I had an amazing relationship, we might not always have agreed, you could definitely call me a mummies boy!
When she passed away a couple of years ago I was truly heartbroken. But I had the memories and the love to keep me going. Sadly, this was not the case for my brother. Their relationship was hard and non communicative. There was love there but it was one from a strained relationship this was mainly considered to the fact that they just were not a like. Mum and I had things in common so subsequently had a stronger relationship.
Before passed though my dad was ill, and had been for a couple of years, because of this mum had been discussing his funeral and what we would do. The shock then of mum passing rocked my world.
Like my brother and my mum, my relationship with dad, was strained. We are just different people, with different interests. The idea that he could have died and I was holding regret, like my brother, seriously upset and worried me.
From that point I decided to improve our relationship. I moved in shortly after mums funeral, for many reasons, importantly with the idea to build upon what we have.
The last few years have been strained but we are still working towards it. We have two manly date nights. Our first is a film night where we take it in turns to choose a film and watch it together. Our second, as the blog title displays, is a takeaway night on a Friday. Down to dads old fashioned views it ends most weeks to be Fish and Chips. I don't mind the frequency of it, as it is one night a week that him and I actually sit down together, alone without kids, and eat.
This is working brilliantly because films and food is something that unites a lot of people, even those, like my father and I, have very little in common.
I try my hardest to build a relationship with out it being forced to change each others personality and subsequently has given us a chance to grow together and build memories. It has also given me chance to learn interesting facts about my dad, like the fact that he use to be a ten pin bowling champion who once played for the GB team.
Something as little as Fish and Chips has built upon who we are. I suggest that people, whatever their relationships are to take time to find common interests through social activities that please everybody. We have so many different fractured families that living in regret that its time to push towards a better future.
It's time to
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